Diary Of An Emotional Mute
by tainted.collective
Summary: Ever wondered what it was like to be in Zane Truesdale's shoes? [Also known as Kaiser Marufuji Ryou, but I'm using dubbed names.] Well, here you are. Prologue and 25 entries of Zane-goodness. Rated T just to be safe on some themes. Enjoy!


**Prologue**

~Things To Say When Rejecting Girls/Boys by Zane Truesdale~

*Insert love confession here*

To Reply with:

a) So...?

b) So what?

c) I don't care.

d) I don't like you back and I don't care.

...Hmm, this is more challenging than expected.

It's Atticus!

'Why don't you try to sound like you have feelings, Zane?'

That is much easier said than done, I think. I'm going to continue.

e) I'm flattered but I don't care.

f) I'm pleased for you but I'm sorry, I don't care about you.

g)I'm flattered for you but I'm sorry- the only thing I care about is getting you to leave me alone.

No! Think, _think..._

THIS ONE - 'I'm flattered that you feel that way, but I'm sorry. The only thing I love right now is dueling.'

'Good work, Zane!'

Why thank you, Atticus.

'Do you mean it- feeling sorry for them?'

Of course not.

'...'

I succeeded in finding something nice to say, didn't I? That's enough for now.

'Sure, Zane...'

**Entry One-**

People think it's easy being me. I differ. Remaining stoic all the time is irritating because it makes happy people think-

-ah, Syrus, what are you doing…? You dropping out?

'Yes...'

Quick, Zane! How am I _supposed _to be feeling about this? The sample space is sad, annoyed, angry, confused, happy...

...Wait, happy? Yes, that's perfect. Now he can stop being a waste of DA's space!

It's about time, Syrus.

And by that I mean, 'Just start paddling out on that... _thing _you've built for yourself already; the storm's not going to wait all day for you.'

**Entry Two-**

And what do _you _want, Slifer slummer? Oh, so your name is Jaden and you think you can take me on?

'You're his big brother!'

Yes, I'm quite aware of my familial relationships, thank you.

...Wait, what? I thought he was my cousi-

'Big brothers shouldn't treat-'

It seems that I'm not an only child after all. Damn! There goes my tear-inducing back story for my emotional muteness.

'I'm gonna duel you and sort this out once and-'

Deal.

Get rid of that smile, Yuki, I harbor a secret fear of teeth.

**Entry Three-**

Much like how 42+42 will always equal 84, your Elemental Hero Avian and Burstinatrix will always polymerize to form that loser Flame Wingman.

You're so predictable.

For what it's worth, I like 42 better than 84. And I liked your Elemental Heroes better with lesser attack points.

No matter. See how you like my CYBER END DRAGON WITH MY POWER BOND, JONATHAN.

[Insert dark mirth here. I am incapable of doing such a thing until I lose to... no, I'm not going there yet.]

'It's Jaden.'

So what? Starts with a J.

**Entry Four-**

'I lost?'

Yes, you lost, Jaden.

'I lost?'

Yes.

'But I'm the protagonist!'

Does it look like I particularly care?

'You have blue hair!'

...I like to call it viridian.

'I'm Jaden Yuki!'

You're boring me.

'But-'

CYBER END DRAGON, KILL HIM TILL HE'S DEAD. AND MAKE SURE YOU DO IT PROPERLY- HE'S A PROTAGONIST.

_~I'm holographic, Zane.~_

Holograph yourself to KaibaCorp and change that. You should know what I expect of you by now.

**Entry Five-**

No, I definitely will not sleep. Sleeping will give me brain cancer. Sleeping allows for girls to come into my room and-

I don't need to explain myself.

**Entry Six-**

Crowler is a frightening specimen that genetic mutation created and natural selection should end.

'Oh, Zaaaane, would you like to tell the class what a-'

Get that Chazz kid to do it, he's black.

I must correct myself. He's _wearing _black. Don't want to get censored by 4Kids, do we?

But then why do they allow lipsticked paedophiles on the show?

No, stop asking questions, Zane! You have been designed to look like you know everything, so start acting like it!

**Entry Seven-**

'Hey, Zane, I think it's time you found a bit of love!'

It's 'Kaiser' to you, Atticus.

'4Kids wouldn't allow it.'

'...'

'Go out with my sister?'

Never!

**Entry Eight-**

It's only now that horror seeps through me; I've forgotten something highly important.

'Zane! Happy Valentine's!'

Lips. Breasts. Girl heat. No, I can't deal with this overload. I can't...

'Zane, I just got you a small bouquet... here, Happy Valentine's.'

Lips. Huge breasts...Too close! Girl heat... Alexis?

'Zane, Zane, Zane...'

Thin lips. Why purple? No breasts. Thin. Wait, Crowler? Oh please, no, no, no-

CYBER END DRAGON, ANNIHILATE!

_~Again, Zane- I'm holographic.~_

YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT!

Cue collapse.

**Entry Nine-**

Infirmary. White. Medicinal.

Infirmary. White. Medicinal.

Infirmary. White. Medicinal.

Infirmary. White. Medicinal.

Infirmary. White. Medicinal.

White. White. White. White. White.

'...Are you okay?'

You need to put me back in my room, you medicinal-pariah-of-alleged-healing-powers.

'...'

Ah, much better. I hate doctors.

That withstands a certain dueling 'doctor'. Where he got his degree from, I have no idea.

**Entry Ten-**

Why is there so much milk chocolate in my room?

Nobody understands my tastes!

I like things that are painful to eat. Like 90% bitter _dark _chocolate. Or spicy curries. Or lemons.

I live for lemons.

**Entry Eleven-**

Hold it.

...I'm emotionally mute, perverts! There's no way I'd do any sexually explicit things with _anything_that has two arms, two legs and a torso.

I'm very sorry, but the only ones who see me naked are my cards.

And _only _my Cyber Dragons.

I did say that the only thing I love is dueling, you know.

**Entry Twelve-**

I lied. I'm not very sorry.

**Entry Thirteen-**

Heh. I'm not even sorry.

**Entry Fourteen-**

This pier here allows fan-girls to think that I have a sensitive side. In literary analysis, it also implies that since I am in a littoral space, I am about to undergo a period of transition- perhaps into my next life phase. The same idea applies to the fact that I come here at sunset.

I'm psychic- I'm graduating this year.

I don't need a scripted storyline, 4Kids! I can work out what I need to do by just looking around myself. And stop making your symbolisms so obvious. I don't care if there are seven year olds watching this show; you're insulting my intelligence and I don't like that.

Although... water is supposed to be Freudian. Well, whatever. No sex for me. I'll pick and choose my future. I don't need anybody.

**Entry Fifteen-**

Alexis is again invading my personal space, which spans for a radius of 500m. She's within 10cm.

'Zane, I-'

No, leave. You're in my space.

'-love-'

Crisis, crisis, crisis, _crisis_-

'-Jaden.'

Crisis averted. She apparently loves a duelist who can play his cards fairly well.

Good for you, Alexis. You're one less fan-girl I have to deal with, and one more girl that I can put up with.

'So-'

You still need to get out of my space.

**Entry Sixteen-**

Graduation Duel!

With Jono- no, Jad- well, whatever. Slifer slummer does him justice.

'Zane, do you think my hair looks like Winged Kuriboh? Chazz said that...'

I always wondered about that name. 'Winged Kuriboh.' That seems to imply that somewhere there exists a 'Wingless Kuriboh'.

'Zane...?'

I mean, really, if there is a 'Wingless Kuriboh', then would it just be called 'Kuriboh' to serve distinction? Or would it have legs- 'Legged Kuriboh'? How would it move around? Maybe it'd just float midair- 'Floating Kuriboh'?

'Zane, it's your move...'

How misleading. If there _is_only the 'Winged Kuriboh' form, then they should just omit the 'Winged' and leave it at 'Kuriboh.'

Why do I even care about that brown fluff ball?

'Get your game on, Zane!'

Shut up! I'm thinking academically about the meaning behind the name 'Winged Kuriboh!' And yes, your hair looks exactly like one.

'That's harsh, man...'

And you'd better believe it!

**Entry Seventeen-**

A friendly palm slap. Friendly is the key adjective here. It's a lie.

In the meantime, I'm slowly dying. How did I tie with Kuriboh-kid?

This could be the start of something big.

Stop smiling at me, boy! I have already said I'm afraid of teeth.

'Are you okay?'

Silent, stoic, hurt ego here. It says for you to go away.

**Entry Eighteen-**

It's Aster Phoenix!

Dexter, please tell me more about Aster.

'A plant of the daisy family that has bright rayed flowers, typically purple or pink.'

...Excuse me?

'In biology, it is a star shaped structure formed during the division of the nucleus of an animal cell.'

Dexter...

'The word is also a suffix used to form nouns. It can denote poor quality- such as poetaster or criticaster. In botany, it denotes incomplete resemblance.'

DEXTER!

'Yes, sir?'

Tell me about that guy with the Hero cards over-

'It's DESTINY Hero-'

Shut up.

'My apologies, sir. His name is Aster Phoenix and he is going to defeat you.'

What?!

**Entry Nineteen-**

Boom.

My life points just dropped to zero. I can't fathom this.

...Did I just lose?

'Yes, you lost, Zane.'

I lost?

'Yes, Zane.'

I-

'Just beat it and go to the Underground League already.'

No! I... must... remain... Pro... League...

**Entry Twenty-**

losslosslosslosslosslossloss losslosslossohheyunderground !win-  
**  
Entry Twenty-One-**

Fine! Clad me in black, 4Kids! Scour me with hatred! Paint my eyes with black despair! I am Dark Zane! And I'm the Hell Kaiser when you're not looking! I'm everywhere and everything! I'm victory! I am going to step on everything that gets in my way! Turn me into that antagonist that everybody feels sorry for! I'll watch them all fall under my weight! Respect is for pussies, so eat up, Pharaoh!

See you later, Cyber End... I've got better friends to play with than you.

**Entry Twenty-Two- **

'Zane... want a cupcake?'

From Duel Academy? No. I have better things to fill me up, like the luscious feels of that electric collar. I don't care what 4Kids think, I don't care how they portray me on the show. It's not a groan of agony you're hearing, it's a groan of intense pleasure!

Sex is so unnecessary when you have this.

Electric collar, use volt tackle!

...

...

...

Now THIS is what I'm talking about!

**Entry Twenty-Three**

From now on, I'm only living for my self gratification of pain, pleasure and victory.  
**  
Entry Twenty-Four-**

And what do you want, Atticus?

'Zane, you need to come back! You're being controlled by the darkness inside you-'

I HAVEN'T PUT ANYTHING INSIDE ME EXCEPT A GOOD FEW HUNDRED VOLTS OF SWEET, SWEET ELECTRICITY.

'You need to battle me-'

Battle _me_, Atticus? Oh, please. I could defeat you and your pathetic little Nightshroud alter ego even if I were wearing a pink tutu and stoned on drugs.

'I'll capture you a Pikachu if you duel me.'

This is Yu-Gi-Oh GX, not Pokémon. And I'd prefer a Zapdos.

'Zane, please... Just remember who-'

I don't think so.

BAM!

See? I told you I'd win, Rhodes senior.

Later, losers.

**Entry Twenty-Five-**

My heart!

Screw you, Jesse-possessed-by-Yubel-person-thing.

'Really?'

No, of course not! Although we both have nice bluish hair, and we look good, the fact is, _I _look hotter and also I'm about to die.

Great- a pep talk to Jaden and it gives out. Should have known- that boy's so ridiculous, he's a real heart stopper.

So… this is what the stars look like.

Well, 4Kids, I can't deny it's not pretty, but... couldn't you have just let me die? I don't particularly want wash up on the shore, let Syrus take over and generally not do too much except endanger my life as usual.

Or did you mean for me to turn into a cat with several lives?

It's so frustrating, being me.


End file.
